Mother: “Grotesque, my child feels very bad”
Published 21.08
The confirmands in Borlänge had to plan their own funeral.
– It was completely grotesque. My child feels very bad and won’t be able to sleep after today, says a mother.
– We do the same thing every year, it’s nothing new. We work with the big questions. If the church doesn’t do it, then who will, says parish educator Erik Dåverud.
The mother was shocked when her child told her what happened during Monday’s confirmation class Church of Sweden in Borlänge.
– They got to see a coffin where a dead person was lying. The lid was closed, but it is still very difficult for a child to handle.
– Then they had to plan for their own death. What coffin they should have, what clothes they should wear when they lie in the coffin, what music should be played at their funeral. And they were told that it takes an hour to burn a corpse. Should children have to hear such things?
“We do it every year”
Parish educator Erik Dåverud says that death and burial are discussed with all confirmands.
– It’s nothing new or spontaneous, we do this every year. Today when we were at the funeral home they came in with a coffin. It was nothing planned, but that’s what everyday life looks like at a funeral home.
– Afterwards we talked in groups about how you want to be remembered. If you want to be buried in your favorite clothes, about what music is appropriate in church, about whether your favorite music might be better suited to the memorial service afterwards. We talked about grief and comfort too.
Can you understand that parents rule on bringing up death so concretely with children?
– I cannot question anyone’s experience. These are big questions. But it is our task to work with them, says Erik Dåverud.
