Markus Larsson on the artist’s big mistake
Thomas Stenström made a big mistake with his WC song.
He was trying to be good.
Aw aw aw, it won’t fly.
When it comes to sports, the music should preferably be as stupid as possible.
People complain about the Eurovision Song Contest every year.
It’s mostly about men, and some women and possibly a million non-binary people, who think the competition is a sign that the world is coming to an end.
However, ESC is a breeze on a Tuesday in June compared to sports tunes. That is, the musical equivalent of covid-19, which affects humanity every time there is a World Cup play-off in men’s football.
When I was growing up WC and EC songs were a joke. But that could be because I was brought up with masterpieces like “Ciao, ciao Italia” with After Shave and the National Football Team 1990. The unique thing about it is that the Swedish national football team managed to be even worse than the song in that particular playoff. How was that even possible?
Today, however, the task of making the official World Cup song seems to be in the nation’s interest. How else to explain the storm of hate against Thomas Stenströms “Live forever”? So trash is not the song.
The reason why Stenström had to run a street race as merciless as Cersei Lannister in “Game of thrones” – shame, shame! – is that he misunderstood the assignment. He forgot that we live in a peripheral bonnaland that loves to party to happy and silly music. Making a perfectly fine and sentimental song about the World Cup is not enough. In a genre where the Euro farce “Campione” features E-Type is a line of justice, Thomas Stenström was not stupid enough.
“Live forever” is a tearful after-party. Who can and wants to drink in a blue-yellow viking helmet for that? How is an audience member in funny wigs even going to remember the lyrics? From the most IQ-free perspective of the WC songs succeed Brandsta City Extinguishers better. They just paste a new text into the Mello hit “Rakt in i elden” and create a musical pole shot for all ages. It is about as good, funny and effective as the following sounds and words:
“Boo!”
But when it comes to perfect ball songs, nothing beats it Markolios “More goals”, the unofficial European Championship song from the year 2000. He expresses a truth that all the talking heads in various television studios tiki-taka-pass around in triangles without reaching the penalty area:
We want more goals.
Like the Nostradamus he was 26 years ago, Markoolio also made a credible prediction about the 2026 World Cup playoffs in the USA:
“And goal it will be.”
Genius.
Elsewhere in this flow, I’ve taken one for the team and rated a bunch of this year’s Swedish WC songs. I don’t get paid enough for that Calvary walk through Mordor, but the bottom line is as obvious as it is important:
Bulgaria’s ESC winner, “Bangaranga”, beats them all.
